When was the last time you put yourself first? If you are anything like me, your response to this is I don’t remember. It truly saddens me to know that about you, about us. Too many of us are afraid to be selfish and love ourselves first.
The word selfish has been given such a negative connotation. Because of this, whenever the word selfish is linked to an individual we often assume that the individual lacks consideration of others and is mostly concerned exclusively with his/her own self. Just like the dictionary tells us. From an early age, we are taught to stay away from “selfish” people because they will hurt us.
To be selfish is not always a bad thing
When you consider being selfish as self-care or self love you realize that being concerned with oneself and concentrating on one’s own well-being is not at all a bad thing.
The question is how do you get from point A (to be selfish is bad) to point B (to be selfish is to practice self-love or self-care) when it comes to the word selfish? It’s actually a lot easier than it seems and in this post, I am going to show you how, so keep reading.
5 ways to be selfish and love yourself first.
1. Be selfish with your time
Remember the saying “time is money”? I am sure most of you have used it once or twice when it comes to employment and making money. Well, I am here to tell you that this saying also applies to yourself as an individual.
Many times people steal our time, I actually refer to them as “time thieves”. It could be that coworker that stops by your cubicle when you are on break and proceeds to just chat up your entire break time. Perhaps, it’s the neighbor that wants to start a conversation when they see you pulling out of your driveway.
Either way, your time is a valuable asset and it’s yours. You should never allow someone to take your time from you because “time is money”. Look at it this way, it is your time so you should determine how you will spend it. Just like you do with your money. You do not go around throwing our money away or giving it to every Tom, Dick, or Harry that pops up at your cubicle. Learn to treat your time as you do your money. Be frugal and stingy with it. Do not be afraid to make others earn your time and not let them waste it.
Remember this, you cannot get time back once it is gone.
2. Be selfish with your love
Be careful not to give your love away to just anybody. Everyone is not worthy of your love. This may sound a bit harsh however, it is true. If you are a caring and loving person you already know that others will take advantage of your love. When you are not careful and give your love away too freely, many will surely take it and run.
I am not referring here to romantic love only. What I am saying here encompasses all types of love, family, friends, pets, etc. Please remember that it is difficult to give love to someone or something else when you haven’t been giving yourself love first. You cannot supply water from an empty faucet.
Just like with money, you should be selfish with your love as well. I am not saying for you to be a grinch and be evil to everyone. Instead, make sure that your well is full before you start handing out buckets for others to take from your well.
3. Be selfish with your body
“Your body is your temple”, another oldie but goodie. One of the first steps in taking care of our body is to be selfish with it. If your body is your temple you should treat it as such. This means taking care of it like no one else can.
Do not succumb to any peer pressure that may cause harm to your temple. Watch what goes in your body, through your mouth, or any other orifice. If you do not want another piece of cake or another drink, do not allow yourself to be pressured into having another
Taking care of your temple also applies to sex. Do not allow yourself to feel pressured to give your body to anyone. Since this is your temple you decide who touches, and takes pleasure from it. You also decide when and where this will take place.
4. Be selfish with mental health
You may be wondering, how can I do that?
To understand the answer to this, you must first realize that others will take advantage of and abuse your mental health if you allow them to. They do this by attacking you verbally and/or emotionally. The tactics they use may include putting you down verbally, negatively treating you, giving you silent treatment, or refusing things.
With that all said, you can now learn to be selfish with your mental health by not allowing anyone to use any of these tactics with you. Learn that your mental health is extremely important for you to live a healthy life. Learn to be aware and mindful of how others treat you both emotionally and verbally. Don’t be afraid to address any negative behaviors you notice in others.
Your mental stability is most important to you. It will be difficult for you to be of any good to anyone else if your mental health is affected.
5. Be selfish with your decisions
Decisions are a very important part of our daily lives. We are consistently making decisions. The question at the end of the day is, were they really your decisions?
Often we make decisions mainly based on what others around us desire, be it our family, friends, coworkers, or bosses. Making decisions based on others’ desires may allow them to be happy but what might it do for you? If it is not absolutely the decision you desired it may leave you feeling incomplete and a bit unhappy.
Since what you truly desire is to be happy with yourself, it is important to learn to be selfish when making your decision. Begin by weighing your feelings about the decision in question. After weighing your feelings and desires then consider everyone else’s feelings and desires regarding your decision. At this point, you should be able to make your decision based on what is best for you while considering others.
Love Yourself First
The most important thing I would like for you to take away from this post is that to be selfish simply means to love yourself first. I am by no means promoting narcissistic behavior or asking you to stop caring and loving those around you.
What I am promoting is self-love. As I previously stated start being mindful of yourself first. Make sure to take care of numero uno before you go on to take care of anyone else. Too often we burn ourselves out because we forgo taking care of ourselves to take care of others. When we do that, who will take care of us?
Examples of Self Love
Taking a long bath
Reading a book
Meditating
Practicing yoga
Watching a movie
Getting a massage
Getting a manicure/pedicure
What you decide to do to love yourself first is your choice. The sky’s the limit so don’t hesitate to love yourself first before you go to conquer the world.
Remember, no one’s thirst will be quenched from an empty well.
Let’s Get Intimate
Please keep in mind that I am by no means an expert, licensed therapist, or psychiatrist. I am just an experienced woman who enjoys sharing what I have learned along the way, with the hope that it will make someone’s day brighter and life a bit easier.
Thanks again for stopping by and I hope you enjoyed this post and found it informative and useful in your everyday life. I would love to hear from you so please leave your thoughts, comments, and desires for me in the comment section. Please add your email address so that I may stay in touch with you. Feel free to let me know of any topics you would like to see addressed in this blog.
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